


wound up

by babylupin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Oneshot, POV Sirius Black, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 11:36:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15795711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babylupin/pseuds/babylupin
Summary: sirius has no idea how to deal with his feelings for remus--very short wolfstar oneshot drabble thing i wrote because i missed writinghope it qualifies as alright :)





	wound up

The evening was cool and breezy, and the brilliant twilight colours of the sky were blended together in a dreamy, pink-orange masterpiece. Sirius was gazing out of the window when he heard his name called from the common room. He crossed the room and skipped down the stairs, only to be greeted halfway down them by Remus.

“Hey, we were looking for you,” said Remus warmly. “We’re heading down to dinner now - are you coming?”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, hold on,” he took a step backwards, up the staircase. “I’ll go get my tie…”

“Okay,” Remus smiled. “Catch us up.”

He turned and bounded down the stairs, and Sirius rushed off in the opposite direction. He could feel his cheeks reddening, and only hoped that Remus hadn’t seen. He pushed the door to the dormitory shut and leaned against it, his heart hammering wildly against his ribs. 

It had been months since he had realised how he felt about Remus. It was unlike Sirius to be so shy, but when for the first few weeks, when was around Remus, he couldn’t help it. His brain seemed to shut down, and the only sound that passed his lips was incomprehensible babble. He was amazed by the fact that nobody had asked him about this sudden change inability to speak to Remus. Over time, however, Sirius had recollected himself and learned to cope with his feelings for Remus. He had started speaking to him again and even trusted himself to be alone with Remus. It was still incredibly painful for him to be so helplessly in love with one of his best friends and not be able to do anything about it.

Sirius was beginning to think he should confess his feelings to someone … anyone but Remus. He thought that talking about it might make dealing with it somewhat easier. He sat quietly through dinner, stealing glances at Remus when nobody was looking and internally melting at the way his blond-bronze curls fell forwards as he laughed…

“Hey, James, could I talk to you?” Sirius asked tentatively as they made their way back to the common room later on. James nodded immediately and hung back, letting Remus and Peter walk on ahead of him and Sirius.

“You alright, mate?” he asked, looking at Sirius concernedly.

Sirius shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“What’s up?”

“I-” he sighed. He hadn’t considered how he was going to actually tell James. Part of him had been hoping that James would have picked up on something by now. He had forgotten how painfully oblivious James was.

“I-I don’t know how to say this…” he muttered, staring at his feet as they walked.

“Woah.” James stopped and put a hand on Sirius’s shoulder, his eyebrows knitted together in a frown. “You’re really wound up over … whatever you need to talk about. Are you okay?”

Sirius opened his mouth, but his throat was tight and he felt like his jaw was locked. He took a deep breath and whispered,  _ “I’m in love with Remus…” _

Sirius glanced up at James and met his gaze. James’s face was frozen in an expression that mingled shock with amazement. Sirius’s mouth twitched into a tiny smile: he knew James well enough to tell that he was excited about this, and not at all repulsed by the fact that his best friend was into blokes.

“James? Say something.” Sirius chuckled. “Please. I’m losing my mind.”

“Sorry…” James shook his head, grinning. “Just surprised.”

They stood in silence for a moment, and then James added, “Really?”

Sirius nodded. “Completely.”

“Huh…” James scuffed his shoe on the stone floor, then turned and indicated the corridor, motioning for them to continue walking, which they did in silence. As they came to the floor of the Gryffindor common room, James turned his head to look at Sirius, who was biting his nails timidly.

“Does this mean you’re gay?”

Sirius stopped and looked at his best friend. “I think I am. Are you angry?”

James shook his head. “Of course not.”

“Good,” Sirius nodded. “Thank you.  _ Verus amor. _ ”

The portrait of the Fat Lady swung forward and Sirius stood aside to let James climb through first. As he clambered into the common room, he immediately spotted Remus sitting with Peter, Lily and Dorcas by the fire. He forced himself to look away. James was standing to the side of the portrait, watching Lily with a small smile.

“So what in the name of Merlin am I supposed to do?”

“Sorry?” James asked absently, his eyes still on Lily.

“James! What the fuck do I do about Remus?”

“Oh, right - sorry,” James looked at Sirius, his brown eyes glinting in the firelight. “I mean, if I’m being honest, I’ve no idea what you’re supposed to do now.”

Sirius’s gaze flickered over to Remus, and he sighed deeply. “Come on. Let’s go upstairs.”

James nodded and followed Sirius across the room, waving impishly to Lily as they passed her. Sirius marched up the stairs and practically threw himself onto his bed, burying his face in his pillows.

“Don’t beat yourself up over this, Padfoot,” said James, smiling at him. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m sure Remus won’t mind that you’re in love with him.”

“You’re-you’re in love with me?” said a voice from across the room. Sirius froze. The room was now eerily silent; Sirius could almost hear his heart as it hammered against his ribs. Slowly, he pushed himself up onto his hands and turned his head.

Remus was standing in the doorway, a hand still on the knob. James was hovering over the end of Sirius’s bed, his face tomato-red and contorted with horror. If Sirius hadn’t been so embarrassed, he would have probably hexed him.

“R-Remus,” James stammered. “I thought I shut that door…”

“You didn’t.” Remus deadpanned, his eyes fixed on Sirius, who stared right back at him. James noticed this and awkwardly moved towards the door, stepping around Remus and turning to head back down to the common room. He hesitated, and then nudged Remus forwards and pulled the door shut.

Sirius could feel sweat on his forehead. Never before had he wanted to disappear as much as he did in that moment. He gulped and blinked, mopping his brow with the sleeve of his jumper.

“You’re in love with me?” Remus repeated, breaking the silence.

“I-” Sirius didn’t know what to say.  _ Yes, I’m in love with you. I realised it back in October, but I think I’ve been in love with you since third-year, when you were so tired after a full moon that you fell asleep with your head on my lap. Your hair was so messy and perfect, and so soft. I couldn’t help myself. Of course I’m in love with you, Remus. How couldn’t I be? _

Sirius stood up. He was surprised that he had the strength to push himself off the bed. He took a tentative step towards Remus, fumbling with his hands. “I-” he said again, then he bit his lip.  _ What the fuck was he supposed to say? _

“Sirius…” Remus sighed, and Sirius met his eyes again. From this distance, they were blue, but Sirius had been close enough in the past to know now that they were flecked with gold. It was like some sort of constellation, right there in Remus’s eyes.

“Listen, Moony-”

“Don’t.” Remus cut him off and walked towards him, quickly. Sirius’s heart was beating so fast, he feared that it was going to leap out of his chest. Remus took Sirius’s hands and held them between them. They had held hands before, but not like this. This was different. This was-

In that moment, however, all of Sirius’s thoughts vanished and were replaced by one word, repeated over and over again in his mind:  _ Remus. _

Their lips met, and the rest of the world seemed to melt away. Sirius closed his eyes and kissed Remus back, all of his fear and anxiety leaving him in one fell swoop.

_ Remus, Remus, Remus. _

Kissing him in real life was better than anything Sirius had ever imagined. Remus tasted like chocolate and peppermint. His mouth was so hot, but in a good way. In a great way. In a way that ascended anything else in the world. Sirius felt like he was floating. He wanted this feeling to last forever.

Then as soon as the kiss had started, it was over.

Sirius expected to come crashing down from this high, but he didn’t. He felt just as intoxicated as Remus pulled away from him as he had done when he could feel the softness of Remus’s plump lips against his own.

He felt just as warm as he had done when Remus had been kissing him stupid.

He felt just as happy.

Remus pressed his forehead against Sirius’s and smiled, his eyes gazing into Sirius’s.

“Guess what?” he uttered in something so quiet it was barely even a whisper.

“What?”

“I love you too,” Remus grinned. “Muppet.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> kudos + comments are appreciated! :)


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